i downloaded Picasa the other day. it seemed to be a good idea, i thought, i could put some of my own slideshows up here. but it gobbled up all my photos, and now i seem to be spending far too much time in picasa trying to sort out the mess they are in!! oh well, i suppose a bit of a photograph spring clean!
its my little brother's 50th birthday tomorrow. i havent managed to get anything together for it - apart from a card and letter asking him to put me out of my misery and tell me what he wants!! he'll say just paint me something.. only if you arent a painter do you think that painters can just 'paint you something' just like that!!! on one of Joni Mitchell's albums - an old concert she must've done - people are shouting to her to play something or other and she says eventually - 'no one ever said to van gough "paint a starry night again, man!" ' poor musicians are expected to replay and replay their old numbers, while painters are expected to churn out a pic at a moment's notice! its is a strange thing that it is actually difficult to reproduce what you did before.. i put it down to the fact that you were in a different 'place' in your head when you first did it to when you try it again. that is unless you are working to a formula - you know, when you find a way of working that seems to work and sell and you just keep doing it, instead of exploring .. pushing the boundaries of it.. which involves making lots of mistakes and bad work - but for me i prefer that way. and there is another misconception that people say - oh just do the stuff that you know sells, and do your own stuff in your 'own' time! yea - i know many pals who do that and feel stuck in it and without any of their 'own' time... the thing is that your 'own' work so to speak involves your full focus, time, space to really let go and explore .. play .. make *....* work and do any kind of investigation it takes to you. its difficult to get into that head-set without the support to be able to do it, that's why there are artists' bursaries and so on available but sadly not enough to go around!!
so another thing is my little sister's imminent (i think) emmigration to the US. sorry. i shouldnt really call them 'little' its just a sort of endearment from me. i dont know that they like it much tho. its not a rivalry thing, its just that i am so much older than them all that they almost feel like my own children.. well its the memory of them little that feels like that. them grown up feels much more equal because i dont feel that old! they were all gorgeous wee souls.
well, i was changing their nappies, washing endless nappies, feeding and bathing them and also getting told off if they got into fights - well my brothers anyway, my sister didnt fight (and i only got to look after her in the uk) our wee 'chota-baba' (small child) - she could speak fluent nepali, because her ayah Kanchi more or less brought her up for a few years - spent every minute of every day and night with her more or less. i was just a dreadful teenager who had left school and was working for the minister of the church of scotland (because father said i had to get a job) and spending every afternoon at the swimming club with my friends - one of which is the friend i bumped into on my way home couple of days ago..
father had had a big promotion before being posted to Calcutta. just as i left school father was posted to the uk to do a 2 (or 3) year course at uni in london and become 'management'. Sister was born right at the start of that time, so we were in uk together for 2 or 3 years. then in Calcutta he got quite distant - i guess looking back i realise it was probably to do with becoming a 'burra sahib' (big boss) with a reputation and responsibility to keep. i didnt realise that then.
i remember once getting home late for lunch (as usual) and finding him there unusually, i bounced about telling him i had been asked to dance in a night club! i was so excited. he was horrified and said absolutely no way.. and so we had an argument. of course i can understand now - but then all i ever wanted to do was dance and act, the small matter of how or where didnt really come into it. anyway, it was all because pals and i were dancing one night (at a club) and the floor cleared leaving me and my partner dancing - everyone watching - and so the manager asked me to dance in the night club next door.
ho hum. i dont think i had any idea about any sort of 'conotations' a 'night club' might have - too innocent and naive.. but in those days - what, mid '60s - i guess it was still a rather risque place for a young girl..
ooops must stop - gone on far too long - rush rush
its my little brother's 50th birthday tomorrow. i havent managed to get anything together for it - apart from a card and letter asking him to put me out of my misery and tell me what he wants!! he'll say just paint me something.. only if you arent a painter do you think that painters can just 'paint you something' just like that!!! on one of Joni Mitchell's albums - an old concert she must've done - people are shouting to her to play something or other and she says eventually - 'no one ever said to van gough "paint a starry night again, man!" ' poor musicians are expected to replay and replay their old numbers, while painters are expected to churn out a pic at a moment's notice! its is a strange thing that it is actually difficult to reproduce what you did before.. i put it down to the fact that you were in a different 'place' in your head when you first did it to when you try it again. that is unless you are working to a formula - you know, when you find a way of working that seems to work and sell and you just keep doing it, instead of exploring .. pushing the boundaries of it.. which involves making lots of mistakes and bad work - but for me i prefer that way. and there is another misconception that people say - oh just do the stuff that you know sells, and do your own stuff in your 'own' time! yea - i know many pals who do that and feel stuck in it and without any of their 'own' time... the thing is that your 'own' work so to speak involves your full focus, time, space to really let go and explore .. play .. make *....* work and do any kind of investigation it takes to you. its difficult to get into that head-set without the support to be able to do it, that's why there are artists' bursaries and so on available but sadly not enough to go around!!
so another thing is my little sister's imminent (i think) emmigration to the US. sorry. i shouldnt really call them 'little' its just a sort of endearment from me. i dont know that they like it much tho. its not a rivalry thing, its just that i am so much older than them all that they almost feel like my own children.. well its the memory of them little that feels like that. them grown up feels much more equal because i dont feel that old! they were all gorgeous wee souls.
well, i was changing their nappies, washing endless nappies, feeding and bathing them and also getting told off if they got into fights - well my brothers anyway, my sister didnt fight (and i only got to look after her in the uk) our wee 'chota-baba' (small child) - she could speak fluent nepali, because her ayah Kanchi more or less brought her up for a few years - spent every minute of every day and night with her more or less. i was just a dreadful teenager who had left school and was working for the minister of the church of scotland (because father said i had to get a job) and spending every afternoon at the swimming club with my friends - one of which is the friend i bumped into on my way home couple of days ago..
father had had a big promotion before being posted to Calcutta. just as i left school father was posted to the uk to do a 2 (or 3) year course at uni in london and become 'management'. Sister was born right at the start of that time, so we were in uk together for 2 or 3 years. then in Calcutta he got quite distant - i guess looking back i realise it was probably to do with becoming a 'burra sahib' (big boss) with a reputation and responsibility to keep. i didnt realise that then.
i remember once getting home late for lunch (as usual) and finding him there unusually, i bounced about telling him i had been asked to dance in a night club! i was so excited. he was horrified and said absolutely no way.. and so we had an argument. of course i can understand now - but then all i ever wanted to do was dance and act, the small matter of how or where didnt really come into it. anyway, it was all because pals and i were dancing one night (at a club) and the floor cleared leaving me and my partner dancing - everyone watching - and so the manager asked me to dance in the night club next door.
ho hum. i dont think i had any idea about any sort of 'conotations' a 'night club' might have - too innocent and naive.. but in those days - what, mid '60s - i guess it was still a rather risque place for a young girl..
ooops must stop - gone on far too long - rush rush
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Thank you for being the link. xxx