snow

snow. well if you didnt know it was snowing you must be living in a cupboard or on another planet.
at least waking up today i found proper snow, properly piled, properly fluffy that you could walk through and leave footprints in.
the close and the back courtyard it leads to:

recently i have been thinking about Kitty - remembering Kitty. those who have known me long enough will remember her. she died in september 1993. i could never get another cat, never replace her. anyway, for some inexplicable reason i have recently been thinking a lot about a cat - another oriental one - and am beginning to obsesse (obssese?) about it to the point of googling them online. Oh Dear. A Bee in My Bonnet.
i imagine a small kitten and training it to have a harness for taking for walks (you couldnt do that with a moggy cat) (i dont think anyway)(orientals are part monkey, part dog and part cat so you can).
Oh Dear oh dear...
i Cant have a cat.
i cant seem to stop thinking about it.
if i got one, i'd have to have two.
how expensive is that, how much of a responsibility is that..
oh gawd
To Cap It All R4 is now broadcasting a morning reading all about someone living somewhere rural who finds a kitten and rescues it against his better nature, and it all just goes to feed into my cat-bee.
the kitten runs up to sit on his shoulder, clawing his clothes and various parts of his skin in the process. i remember that. i remember the hairs - no more black jumpers. in fact jumpers in general go in for a bashing - all that happy cat-knitting.
yes and the cold nose right up on my nose, the paw swipe 'hey pay attention', the greeting when i get home - 'me me me givemeacuddle carryme carryme'  - the furry hug, head nestling into my neck. i could never replace kitty which is why it is such a surprise to find myself suddenly so struck.
so maybe writing it down will help get the bee out. release the bee.
think about other things.