What a grey day, grey week - or is it more.. Can't remember now when those weeks of hot sunshine were.
I suddenly thought of Scoraig this morning, I thought of going to live there. I've never visited. Once long ago D and I thought of it, but didn't get around to it.
Of course I can't just up and go and live there really, it's a measure of my need for an escape, for a time of big skies, of putting those cobwebs in order, standing back for some perspective.
Last night on my way home at about 9.45 I was blinded by the golden sun low on the horizon, it was too early for sunset but I could see it would be a wonderful one in Newhaven, and again I thought of the almost flat in Starbank Road, and then of the hassle of buses late at night getting home from there if I was to go for a sunset from where I live now.
I also realised that not being able to see sunsets or sunrises where I live means that over time I can almost forget about them, being reminded is not always a good idea.
Of course the thing I am not mentioning is the recent referendum, putting us out of the EU. I have been reading, writing, thinking so much about it that I don't think I will do so here.
I am at the top of John Lewis in the cafe with a great view over the Forth to the hills, big sky here.
I'm not in the best of moods just now so I am not going to write much, but I feel a strong urge to make changes in my life. They probably won't be very big changes in the end. I can't go and live in Scoraig, what would I offer them and how would I pay etc... It's just an expression of where I'm at just now I think.
My brother died a year ago on 5th July and I am away to Norfolk soon to stay with my sister in law.