idling away a morning because it is saturday and have to remember that i dont really have to do much. i listened to bits of Saturday Live this morning, and i missed the name of one of the inheritance tracks but wish i hadnt because it was really unusual, and lovely. the lesbian woman talking said that she and her partner had adopted a child and now she had grown up, and how they had gone through such a lot – first to adopt her, and then while she was growing up having been through such crap times already in her young life, coping with the effect of that. i was quite teary and moved by it. looking at the SL website on bbc, i discovered back in december there had been a thing about a woman who was a foundling. and there are messages etc about adoption, and one woman wrote about how her child had been adopted in the 70s when it was still taboo to be single mum and how her child was not unwanted at all, and its a mistake to think that adopted kids are ‘unwanted’. i am so glad someone said this. i had a child adopted in 1969 and i have never forgotten him, never got over losing him, its always with me the whole thing – where is he, is he still alive, is he happy, would he hate me, would he understand, i would love to see him and i am scared of seeing him because he might not understand and he might be disappointed.
my little brothers are also adopted by my parents when i was 7 ish. their mothers adored them, were heartbroken at being made to give them up. my mother was heartbroken at their heartbreak. but it made her more determined to try to give the boys a good life. i adored my little brothers to bits. i still adore them to bits. if they ever wanted to find their real mothers i would help if they wanted.
also i wanted to say, i like Saturday Live, but i am still getting over the loss of John Peel, i cant help it, i still miss him and i didnt even know him, he was just someone who was ‘about’ and then when he did his saturday slot that was just brilliant, he was brilliant in only the way he could be. i mean he was a one off, and special and we were very lucky to have him. but i wish he was still here.